Right now I deserve to be thrown out on the street. I can't seem to do right by my friends, my sleep is suffering (again) and I don't want my life to be given to me on a platter. I deserve to be fired, I deserve to have everything of value taken off of me. I mean how bad of a person must I be to have lost someone as good as you? How bad must I be to be continually on the bottom end of the roller-coaster with an allowance of only a couple of weeks of true happiness every few months?

Fuck.

Then there's what happened on the weekend. After that, I deserve to have no one ever talk to me again; to ignore everything I say or do. Yes, it was that bad. Am I guilty and regretful? I most certainly am.